We call this little bus home. She carries everything we own, everything we need. She takes us up small side roads that are steep with slow travel.
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The bus is our cozy little cabin in the woods. Mornings are small and steam rises from the kettle as frost melts from the wild strawberry plants outside.
Life is a beautiful process of dying. From the moment we’re born, our cells begin to deteriorate.
Canyonlands
in 3 years on the road, we’ve learned more than in 18 years of schooling combined.
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Secondhand knowledge is useful. Books and films allow us to view reality through others’ perspectives. They broaden our minds through the scope of varied lives, so different than our own.
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Yet, art will never replace experience as the ultimate teacher. We need to touch, to smell, to gaze upon the real world, upon genuine people, in order to ever truly know anything. So get out and live, for only living can teach us how to thrive.
I hit a snake last night. Our first time running over an animal in the wild. We’re always so careful and slow.
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Its body was severed badly. I felt its pain as though it were my own, tears heavy on my cheeks. We stopped and James sliced its head off in one bold stroke, put it out of its misery. The bones of my chest were crushed with agony.
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The loss of the wild is something that whirrs through my mind ceaselessly. Sometimes I pretend I’m not part of it, that I am wild, that I help the wild. I know it’s not true. My heart calls to the snake, to its gentle spirit. How can we do it, snake? How can we stop destroying you? How can you continue on, so wild? But the snake doesn’t answer. It’s gone from this earth, like so many wild things before it.
We woke in a narrow canyon, near a creek gurgle that seemed the only sound in the universe. –
Tamarisk trees were drawn in ink around us, and we warmed up water for black tea to go with our stale toast.
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A raven flew overhead. She seemed to laugh smugly at us little humans, bound to the ground by gravity. I wished, in the cloud covered morning, to come back next time as a raven, to soar above these red canyons with such smug power, to know I am better than land dwellers because I work so intimately with that invisible tonic of life, the air.
We sat, slept, and meditated in this same spot on a lone mesa for two full days. We didn’t see another human soul.
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To do nothing, to remain still and receptive in wild places, requires humility and openness. It necessitates a confident acceptance of both yourself and your surroundings.
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Be passive and you will know that there’s nothing you can do to earn life. It is a gift to be gratefully acknowledged and received.
We are ephemeral. Our lives are but a blip, a tiny flash of energy in the darkness of night.
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Above us, long dead supernovas shoot past, expired light traveling for millions of years across inert airless space. Hercules and Cassiopeia sprawl out over the velvet sky seductively, glistening with each blink of my eye. The Milky Way is royal and drenched with the opalescence of pearls.
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Find a spot where cities are scarce and streetlights are unknown. There, you can gaze into the heavens and remember that time is only an illusion, an excuse to forget that we’ll be gone as suddenly as we came.
We didn’t know where we were, exactly. Off trail and hungry, we argued under a juniper tree that seemed embarrassed, its trunk leaned into a pinyon for support. The night seemed ruined.
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Suddenly, a rock fell below us, smattering loud cannonball shots through the silent desert. We looked out into a wide canyon that burned with evening light.
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We were standing on a cliff that sang with beauty, each corner colored a deep and rich shade of purple. Humbled out of our argument, the evening shone as our egos retreated.
Every road tells a story. Of ranchers and pioneers, of natives and bison, of long extinct mammoths and giant sloths that once roamed the grasslands. And now us, passing through not for survival of body, but of spirit.
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We want to know our history, so we can learn how to best move forward. We come here, to the places where language is unspoken, to find those things civilization cannot teach us.
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A lone pronghorn antelope strides through the cheat grass, boldly gazing at us in the still morning. He browses the sparse shrubbery, a bite here, a bite there, then begins to run in the same direction of the road, disappearing in the grass. We’re going there too, to those bluffs in the distance, following the pronghorn, for maybe he knows the story of this road.
These giant Os of Navajo sandstone put geological time into perspective in a way nothing else can.
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To our minds, the formation and destruction of an arch is frustratingly slow, pillars and windows eroding over thousands of years. From the earth’s point of view, this process occurs in a matter of hours.
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We are so insignificant in the big scheme of it all, so tiny against these crumbling layers of rock and history. Take comfort in that thought, that our lives aren’t as big and important as they sometimes seem
The coyotes were excited last night, frisking about in the milky half moon glow. Dozens of them yipped and yowled in the juniper flats around us.
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I sat up and grinned like a fool, peering out at their mangy outlines, the wild way they trotted and hopped through the sage and rabbit brush. They seemed to dance for fall to come, for cooler weather and filtered sunlight.
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We need these interactions with wild animals. We thirst for them like sweet water, we crave them like vital nutrients. They remind us of the parts of ourselves we’ve lost in civilization, the intuitive knowledge we sacrifice in domestication. Watch. Listen. Care. Wild animals tell us things we desperately need to know.
We sleep in the bus, in some wild place, nearly every night, but we rarely construct fires. They’re reserved for cold nights, for special days.
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By the Green River, we built a fire of dead Cottonwood. It sparked and crackled, bits of recycled sun glowing in the low stone pit. We celebrated the fast moving river and the full moon. A new cycle and a new fall season.
We’re looking for something out here, something rare and endangered that the city can’t offer us.
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On backroads that lead to backroads that lead to space, we find what used to be common; peace, wildness, sanity.
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The modern world is insane. You don’t need to listen to the news to know that. We can’t handle the madness, the oppressive development of the civilized world. We flee to these small corners. Out here, we become whole.
The desert floor, the dirt itself, is alive. Literally. A thick layer of bacteria, lichens, and other microscopic critters, called a cryptobiotic crust, cover the sand.
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Think about that. The soil is ALIVE. It breathes. It eats. It has a job.You can see it, protecting the desert floor, a patina that rises in columns among the prickly pear cactus and sage brush. The whole lot of it, every inch of ground, is a microcosm of the universe
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Look around, at the mundane details of the earth, and realize they are fantastic. Spend time watching and reawaken your sense of wonder. The universe is woven of fine threads of quiet miracles.
We walked to where machines make no sounds, deep into Squaw Canyon in the Needles. A 13 mile hike.
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There, we found a cool spot to rest, an oasis in the heat of the day. James slept under the wide brim of his beat up felt hat. I ate pine nuts one by one. They littered the ground under the pinyon tree that shaded us, a free feast. Pinyon jays, smart and mischievous birds named for these trees, these nuts, laughed together in the branches above.
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I thought of this, of us living beings eating free food in a canyon maze. As the jays guffawed and I crunched more nuts, a world of endless tough labor seemed unnecessary and cruel. The earth isn’t a place of scarcity. It is abundant, generous. We have to learn to look. We need to begin to appreciate intricate, simple things like wild pine nuts scattered on the dirty ground
It was late, and we really needed somewhere to park.
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We had spent the day in the library, working on projects, on this and that, the non physical things that need attention too. But time had gotten away from us, and we looked for a sleeping spot in the dark.
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Thirty miles outside of town, we swung right at a gravel road. The pull-outs were full of big campers, ones that can’t make it up the faint side roads. We took the third double track road we passed, and followed it to a dead end of slick rock that shone like worn seashells in the moonlight. We pulled the E-brake right there on the rock and popped the top. Relieved, we climbed upstairs into bed, anticipating the morning, when we’d wake to the whole slick rock scene in the promising light of a new day.
Peach Pickn’
When we learned it was peach season here in Palisade, CO we knocked on doors until we scored ourselves a gig.
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The next three weeks or so, we’ll work full time harvesting 20 acres of peaches, and we’ll sleep right here, near the orchard. This income will help sustain us the next leg of our journey.
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Until then, it’s all peach fuzz and sweat and sore muscles. But, we love it, we really do. Work should be balanced between the body and the mind.
In the longstanding tradition of hobo culture, we took a seasonal job harvesting peaches on a small orchard.
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It’s a bumper crop this year, which means that the fruit is falling fast from the trees. We hustle to gather ’em up, peach fuzz itchy under our collars, the sun blaring down on our crowns at noon. There’s thousands of them.
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This tractor ride back, the coolness of evening on our cheeks, is when we heave a sigh of relief, that the picking is done til tomorrow. The trees wait here for us to return at dawn.
At 5am, the alarm vibrates its steady quiver in the darkness of our sheets.
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The doves in the peach trees out back aren’t yet awake, but the coffee is hot and the day is still crisp.
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We walk out into the peach orchard as in a dream, greeting this day of harvesting. Saturday or Monday are the same now; time is told by the trees. Our seasonal work focuses in on sweet fruit of the land, sunlight transformed into the peachy sugar nectar of summer.
We have worked on 13 farms since hitting the road. From butchering chickens, to milking goats, to, now harvesting peaches, we’ve made a hearty income as hobos working the land.
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The word Hobo entered American slang in the 1890s to describe a certain subculture of migrant laborers who traveled through rural towns for seasonal hire.
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Tramps only worked occasionally, when they had to, Bums didn’t work at all. But hobos followed the seasons, peaches in August, grapes in September. October brought apples and pumpkins. And, by golly, when the weather turned rough up there in the foggy west, it was time to hop trains south for citrus season.
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Life for us today isn’t so different, reliant on the land and on movement to create energy and sustenance for a ramblin’ life on the road
An estimated 10% of the harvestable food crop in our country will fall to the ground this year due to lack of labor. Five acres of peaches are rotting under the trees of this farm alone because we couldn’t get to them on time.
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“Nobody wants work like this,” Tom, the owner of the orchard, told us. “Guess it’s too tough for Americans.”
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It’s true; we’re the only white workers out picking. Everyone else came from Mexico to harvest, many through government programs that truck migrant laborers across the border. We’re grateful for this job. It’s good to be outside and moving, and the long hours deliver much needed cash to our bank accounts.
Saturday dawn under the bus. A clink of wrenches; slick and grimy grease; that clean and satisfied moment when the .006 feeler gauge passes through the valve gap.
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Small as they are, these sensations are rituals,habits that connect amateur mechanics deeply to their vehicles, and therefore, their locomotion. This is the early morning work of ultimate freedom.
This heifer calf is named Morning Glory and she loves overripe peaches.
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When picking’s done for the day, I always head straight for the cattle paddocks to share the unmarketable fruit with the animals.
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Good farms revolve in circles. They have no waste stream. Extra fruit goes to the cows and rabbits, one orchard’s surplus energy feeding other forms of life in a beautiful and cyclical dance of energy
Tomorrow we’re back on the road, heading to a place we haven’t seen before and will probably never see again.
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The taste of Palisade Peaches is juicy on our tongues, but we’ve gotta be moving, rambling on. The world’s so big and we’ve got so much left to see.
The Black Canyon
The north rim Colorado’s Black Canyon is still under the shimmering desert sky. This side of the gorge is peaceful. We see only 3 other groups as we explore the sheer walls of hard rock.
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Amidst fragrant sage brush, its single-note music alive in the summer wind, we sleep. At dawn, we look down past our toes as the Gunnison River rages below, separated from the soles of our shoes by 2000 feet of air. The world is comprised of unthinkable features like this, natural holes so big they leave us tiny, humbled against their enormity.
Here in Black Canyon of the Gunnison, everything is steep and sleek. Walls of conglomerate rock drop 2000 vertical feet into a striking and impressive slit, a great gouge in a great sage Mesa.
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Standing on the canyon’s edge, an unfamiliar feeling arose in my gut, a sensation of flying on solid ground. By the time vertigo rendered me dizzy, I understood something new about the earth, about human experience. Something I’d never before articulated. Depth isn’t gained or taken away easily. It takes millions of years for a canyon like this to form. With this thought, patience, existence itself takes on a new meaning, a depth as shocking as the Black Canyon itself.
When the first sideways slant of early morning light hits the bus, we’re up and scurrying around like sage sparrows, chirping our own nonsense in the coolness of the dew.
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The sun is this big ball of heat. Rising out of unconsciousness, to leave the heaviness of deep sleep, can be daunting. This morning, however, the sage-waving world is more inviting than these old blankets.
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The road is empty. We pour our coffee black into beat up tin cups and turn the engine over. The day is young as the new buds of desert paintbrush. The air is electric, alive and shouting with possibility. An entire day lies before us and who knows- do you universe?- who knows what will be delivered to our expectant morning souls?
Six months before we left, I rummaged through a “Just Arrived” box in a store of oddities. There was a hand cranked juicer, a field guide to urban sprawl, a keyring that said “I like Ike.” I handled each of these things gently, heirlooms of the past. History in my hands.
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Under the box itself, a map hid like an earwig. It seemed black and white at first, its color ink obscured by dust bunnies until I blew it off. The map screamed early 90s. Its design glared highlighter bright, tinged with a tacky sentiment similar to Jansport backpacks and sparkle sticker collections. “Black Canyon of the Gunnison,” it read in Nickelodeon Network orange.
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I had never seen a place like that. The grainy pictures of steep, black walls plummeted my heart into my gut. That moment, I knew better than anything I’d ever known, like the dark inside of my eyelids, that I would see that canyon someday. It was a premonition so strong it held no fear. I didn’t buy that map, but I should have. It was the archangel Michael, presenting my future in vintage topography, a step in the staircase to The Road. Almost three years later to the day, the sun is soft over the Canyon. Like the black insides of my eyelids, I am certain this is where that preordained map meant me to be.